When I was like 8 I thought I was gonna be this awesome hot cool teenager when I would turn 13. When I was 13 I never changed and I thought I would be this awesome emo scene king that was like fucking ruler of anime by the age of 17. I'm almost 17 and my emo otaku days lasted like a year. Now I'm some awkward depressed pastel haired hipster introvert who can't bother to give a shit about most anime who sits on the couch watching murder mystery shows like Bones and Criminal Minds. I keep thinking I'll continue to be this short scruffy guy with dyed hair and lots of fun friends and a giant bearded boyfriend who treats me like a queen. I might hit a growth spurt when I hit 18 or maybe even tomorrow. I might get too lazy to keep cutting and dying my hair. I might get terrible vision just like the rest of my family and start wearing glasses. Hell, I might pig out and overeat like how my brother did and become morbidly obese. I might get cancer, I might lose it one day for some reason and kill myself. The point of this little thing here is to show that not everything goes the way you plan. I'm not saying give up on any of your plans, I'm just saying that there is no point in planning out your life because life doesn't give a shit about your plans. The best thing to do is turn the best out of anything that life throws at you.
When I was 7 my entire school hated me and I found out that my only friend was moving to Orlando and I would be alone. My mom moved me to a new school where I hardly made any friends. Three of the only friends I had ended up actually hating me and were my friends because they felt sorry for me. I made tons of friends later who were gay or gay supporters who love me and care about me. My dad was an abusive alcoholic for 5 years of my life and I'm now straight edged and out of all the problems that go on with the youth in my country. I'm the only one on this island who has pink hair and I get weird looks and people going out of their way to make fun of me and then back out like a bunch of pussy ass niggas. What I'm trying to say is that just like plans don't last for long because of life, problems don't last long either. They only seem to last long because we're waiting for it to be over and we don't know when it will be. For two and a half years I obsessed over one of my best friends because I had a crush on him. Those two years felt like the longest fucking time ever, and I never thought I'd ever get over him.
I look back at myself now and think wow that was really fucking short and I'm graduating next year. He graduated and I got over him before he had to leave my life. Last summer, I made a drawing showing me in my school uniform running in a pile of school equipment and crying. I was afraid of my junior year because I knew I would lose friends and nothing would be the same. I lost a few friends because of stupid immature drama. It didn't last long though because I had to be the mature one and settle shit. I said how I felt and dealt with the problems myself and left things alone when I had to. I finally had to balls to come out during high school and I let everyone know not to fuck with me after I held a few chairs over a couple assholes' heads in the middle of classes time to time. A developed a lack of tolerance for bullshit and I'm much more confident when presented with conflict. Problems and things change and it only gets better if you let it. So if you have a problem, stop worrying about it and get rid of it. If you can't fix it, fix yourself and learn from it. My meaning of life is personal growth and development so I see problems as a gift to help you learn in some way and be who you are. Problems are the tools and how you use them will shape who you are.